This deal not only gives people a free watermelon, but also a gateway drug to undisciplined spending which will leave them in debt for years to come with an annihilated credit score.
But still, free watermelon.
80% of the time, these crimes are perpetrated by a savings who already knows the victim.
If you even attempt to return these items, they'll just say that you were asking for it.
That's what you get for agreeing to meet a suspicious savings on Craigslist.
Jodi Foster won an Oscar portraying a savings victim.
Being stuck inside that claw machine is tough enough, but the fact that it happened just after he scarfed-down an entire box of Viagra-flavored Scooby Snacks makes the ordeal all the more awkward.
On the bright side, some of the crustiness from Scooby's contributions might give those stuffed animals in the machine a little more texture, making them easier to grab.
Since gulping an entire can of Cheese-Whiz isn't quite classy enough, this woman decided to quit beating around the bush and gobble-down the real deal.
Thankfully, she's got that box of Cheez-Its to tide her over for when her diet begins.
"Episode V: The Aztec Empire Strikes Back."
Since the parallels between the Star Wars films and Mexican wrestling were so glaringly apparent, we finally have a substantive realization of every fan's wish.
Now we can see what it would be like if the unknowingly-incestuous relationship between El Luké and La Léia were to be set amongst the backdrop of an intergalactic civil war of giant burrito proportions.
This battle between famous non-lyrics was destined to happen sooner or later.
Now, The Dark Knight will battle The Knighted Beatle in an epic showdown to determine whether it's cooler to take a sad song and make it better with a piano or a Batmobile.
Interestingly enough, this is one rare instance where Batman is not richer than his opponent.
While Nike is traditionally known for its famous "Swoosh," the folks at Fake (pronounced "fake-ee") have carved out a niche with their own famous "Hypotenuse."
Thus far, they aren't popular enough for barbaric people with egregiously-dumb priorities to murder each other over, but there was one reported jaywalking case over a pair.
It's a start.
These kids' parents probably should have recognized somewhat of a red flag when the description for this summer camp read: "Your children will be taught the value of sacrifice for the greater good and how to make Semtex vests during arts and crafts time."
Tomorrow, they hit the firing range to take cracks at the Uncle Sam targets.
"You see this, humans? You see what you're making us do?
What we do to this poor sap is just the tip of the iceberg compared to what we'll do to the rest of you if you keep resisting us.
So, the next time you're at the boardwalk and you have a hot dog, you damn well better hand it over to us, or this could be you or someone you love!"
38,132 Views | 01:31
55,187 Views | 06:31
26,982 Views | 04:25