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Toys

Iron Man Got Shrunk

Baxter
Posted October 24, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Iron Man Got Shrunk

With a steady, healthy diet and plenty of milk, this impish Iron Man will have to size upgrade his armor on a monthly basis until his late teens.

He built that magnificent arc reactor in a cave with Lego scraps to save his life after a near-fatal encounter with a Chinese lead toy. Unfortunately for the scientists that tried to duplicate it, they're not Tiny Stark.

[Source]

Not Quite A Transformer

Baxter
Posted October 17, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Not Quite A Transformer

This group also happen to be robots in disguise...as a legitimate popular toy line.

That being said, the "Framstorners" are committed to distinguishing themselves from those other more well-known Bots with a new film directed by Michael Bay starring Shia LaBeouf and his trusty yellow form-changing robot car creatively known as "Sportscar."

[Source]

The historic, stratospheric, sound-barrier-breaking leap of Felix Baumgartner captured the imaginations of millions everywhere...and inspired them to chug Red Bulls.

However, as cool as the awe-inspiring event was, it's all the more cool when, to paraphrase the stoner movement, you "Legoize It."

Sit back and be impressed by this achievement in stop-motion and be glad you didn't have to step on any of them.

Cat Busts Dog Out Of Jail

Baxter
Posted October 11, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

It wouldn't be true freedom for this cat if it just left its doggy buddy behind in solitary.

Thankfully, the eroding corners of the doors would serve as a proper catalyst to a daring jailbreak of epic proportions.

Looks like they're off to Tijuana to make new lives for themselves selling churros and imitation Batman toys by the roadside.

You Could Win A Perverted Scooby-Doo

Being stuck inside that claw machine is tough enough, but the fact that it happened just after he scarfed-down an entire box of Viagra-flavored Scooby Snacks makes the ordeal all the more awkward.

On the bright side, some of the crustiness from Scooby's contributions might give those stuffed animals in the machine a little more texture, making them easier to grab.

[Source]

He's Looking For The Bike Trailer Park

Having retired at the ripe old age of 20 from a factory which makes lead-lined chew toys for babies, he and the misses are taking the 'ole "BV" out to see the world and have memorable experiences.

This all-purpose peddler has everything they need, even though the bathroom situation does tend to get a bit awkward.

[Via]

This Might Be A Knockoff

Baxter
Posted October 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

This Might Be A Knockoff

Who could forget the funny, yet heart-wrenching moments provided to us from Pixar's Space Boys 3?

Despite having to overlook the gorilla arms of this apparent non-Steve Miller space cowboy, the film was able to resonate with audiences of all ages and this totally legit doll reflects just that.

[Source]

Tank Tips Over During Loading

Baxter
Posted October 2, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Loading a tank to the back of a flatbed truck is certainly an art form of skill and precision. While it's tempting to lose patience and floor it like this driver did, the results of that course speak for themselves.

Now, thanks to an overzealous driver, the Kyrgyzstan military is temporarily short one of its two tanks. Now, how will they defend their borders from Russian vodka bombs and deadly Chinese knockoff toys covered in lead?

Check out this disaster from a few more angle below.

Read More »

Find Me In The 90's

Baxter
Posted September 20, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

The folks of FakeLife have dropped a gigantic 90's nostalgia bomb with a blast radius too large to determine.

Sure, for some, the 90's was an odd time of borrowed styles, filled with screechy cookie-cutter post-Nirvana alternative acts, old-school style hip-hop about big butts, and 16-bit video game systems stretched to their absolute graphical limits.

However, for those who were younger during that period, it was a more magical time of Pokemon and Nickelodeon-infused color where songs about being a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World, would play in the background amidst split-screen GoldenEye deathmatches and Mario Kart races. 

Indeed, it was a world where Michael Bay asteroid movies made you cry and the most sexually-scandalous book out there was not Fifty Shades of Grey, but The Starr Report.

Nostalgia away!

Baby Is Rightfully Creeped Out

Baxter
Posted September 20, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Baby Is Rightfully Creeped Out

"Sooo, uh...what is this thing? And why?

It has a realistic mouth and genitals equipped with their own reservoirs you say? Well...how about that?

I'm starting to think I should have let those other sperm pass me by in that egg race, because...damn."

[Via]

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