"Yeah, that's right, I have to hop up stairs like I'm some carrot-eating cretin.
Have a look at my legs. They're clearly the punchline in one of nature's limitless array of unfunny jokes.
Logistically, I've gotta do what I've gotta do. So kindly button it with the laughing and the cutesy stuff!"
"Oh, I get it! You substituted 'get to the other slide' for the punchline to the conventional joke about the chicken crossing the road to get to the other side.
Well played, good sir. As far as the experience I have gained in these few months of existence outside my mother's womb can attest, I can tell that you are a satirical genius."
[Via]
Could it be that the punchline to one of the greatest comeback zingers in history was not as abstract and made-up as we previously thought?
[Source]
So a man walks into a glass door...Wait, what's the punchline?
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...and yet, so very very true. Suddenly, while the name of legendary actor, Gregory Peck becomes a supplemental punchline, this rendition of Herman Melville's timeless tale starring Patrick Stewart becomes a Lifetime movie for guys.
Interestingly enough, shifting the tag slightly to the right to block the "b" and "y" would change it into the type of film a young male actor may only do when he's seriously broke.
[Source]
In tribute to former NFL great and film star, Bubba Smith, who passed away yesterday at age 66, we thought we'd string together a few of his best moments from the legendary Police Academy series. (Clips provided via link since the good ones have embedding disabled. :( )
As character, Moses Hightower, a 6-foot-7 florist-turned-police-officer, his size and superhuman strength was a punchline that kept on giving throughout the series' seven films.
Hightower throws a Football at a punk.
Copeland's '78 Honda Civic gets a mod, Mahoney teaches Hightower a "crash course."
David Spade and other new recruits get humbled by voodoo.
RIP.
Upcoming mega-sequel, The Dark Knight Rises, besides having the high-profile acquisition of Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle aka Catwoman, will also contain one of Batman's most formidable foes in the buff, juiced-up, but cerebral Bane. Hammersmith, London's Tom Hardy, who will be tackling the role, certainly knows that the upcoming gig will be his biggest moment yet in the cinematic spotlight. In a recent interview on UK talk show Alan Carr: The Chatty Man (greatest title ever?,) Hardy sat down to discuss the big role quite candidly, revealing his expectations and how he plans to prepare.
I'm not quite sure what service this company offers, but I do know it has the best corporate slogan of all time. The picture was taken in Culver City, California, so if anybody in that area has any info, please let me know. It's safe to assume that it's a Fortune 500 outfit, but other than that, I don't have any other leads. Sure, I could just call the number, but I'm way too bashful for that.
This box-office weekend was one dominated by Christmas as Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon's Four Christmases topped the list with $18,180,000. However, for our purposes, the real story is the abysmal performance of Punisher: War Zone and its $4 million take. That is significantly lower than the $13,834,527 opening weekend of the 2004 version from which it was rebooted. It was the lowest opening for a Marvel Comics film EVER. And adding insult to injury, it even opened lower than 1986 box-office punch-line Howard the Duck. (Then again, Lea Thompson did have sex with a talking duck in that film, so I can see what gave it the edge.)
Considering how much of a stand-up guy Ray Stevenson seemed when he stopped by AOTS, it's got to be considered bad news. (If anything, for his sake.) Did the film look phenomenal? Not really. However, the Punisher is a problematic character for movie adaptations. You can't get too corny because it's not in character, however, you can't go too dark and sadistic, because then it turns off the traditional group of moviegoers that made the Spider-man and Batman franchises so successful. While The Dark Knight walked the line in terms of darkness, it also carried a kind of pathos with which audiences could identify. We're sympathetic towards 'ole Frank Castle for the death of his family, however, his downward spiral towards vengeance has yet to translate well on film.
It was a bad night to be Paris Hilton. Why? Click on the links to find out.
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