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In Your Pants

Dog Walking For Lazy People

Baxter
Posted October 3, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Dog Walking For Lazy People

"Today is just a day that I refuse to wear pants and dammit, I'm gonna stick to that pledge no matter what.

Now, hurry up, dog and do your business so that I can grab my super-pooper-scooper and schlep that stinky brownie back up here like a claw machine prize.

After that's done, I'll use it to grab you too."

[Via]

This Order Will Go Right Through You

Sure, you could just do the pedestrian thing and have a tube and liquid enema. But, why not go the deep-fried route? It's more efficient and far more delicious.

You'll just need to make sure your timing is right or else this "ancient Chinese secret" will require a hell of a lot of Calgon in your pants to correct.

[Source]

Now this is what we like to call a "close call" and "pure luck." Also, "the moment when you poop in your pants" also applies.

For more viral videos, watch Around the Net on Attack of the Show every weeknight at 7/6c!

He Wants To See You After School

It looks like tonight's homework assignment is to find 5 ways to remove the teacher's pants with just your mouth.

Oh, and he's probably going to give a pop-quiz tomorrow on chapter 9 from the "Stuff We Don't Tell Our Parents" textbook.

What a slave-driver.

[Source]

Buy Your Baby The Best Booze

Baxter
Posted July 11, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

Buy Your Baby The Best Booze

If you're gonna get your baby wasted, the very least you can do is get some quality stuff instead of cheap crap with a label written in pen from some seedy bodega. 

Now, after a much-needed 17 hour nap, your baby will have a legitimate excuse for soiling his or her pants.

[Source]

With the release of The Amazing Spider-Man last week being so close to the impending arrival of The Dark Knight Rises on July 20, it's not hard to see why Batman might feel that Spidey rebooted himself too soon just to spoil the big swan song of his latest film series at the box-office.

Well, s**t just got real, and it seems that the city of Toronto will have to host what could be the ultimate throw-down.

...Well, the ultimate light-shoving match, anyway.

These Seem Legit

Baxter
Posted June 18, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

These Seem Legit

If you're the type who fancies high-priced designer underwear, then why not shell out the big bucks for a product from the latest designer that has Calvin Klein shaking in his boots: Calvin Klain!

Wear these briefs with the confidence that you have more "a's" in your pants than those suckers who bought the "real" version.

[Source]

In the midst of what I'm sure was a touching speech during this wedding reception, this guy's belt must have decided to do an upside-down toast to the bride and groom with his pants.

The wedding cake is conspicuously missing, but thanks to him,, everyone in the room got a slice of moon pie.

While champagne is the drink of choice for the occasion, you're free to hand him a cup of hot water for a quick dip of the teabag.

This guy has learned an important lesson that all weirdos who hang around streets blocking traffic should probably know: No one gives a s**t about anything you have to say. You are not a real activist or, for that matter, an artist.

Failure to realize that will leave you nursing a bruised face on the pavement after getting your ass kicked by a guy in self-rolled capris pants. -- Not a way for anyone to wind up.

Epic Overtaking On A Roundabout

Baxter
Posted April 26, 2012 - By Joseph Baxter

When you've got Boss Hog right on your tail for the crime of smuggling a shipment of hot pants for Daisy, you don't have time to tackle a roundabout like this with the proper amount of safety and decorum.

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