Girls

Michael Kosta returns to co-host Attack of the Show tonight with Sara Underwood, Matt Farah's trip to the 2012 LA Auto Show, comedian Jonathan Kite from 2 Broke Girls and our review of the HP Envy TouchSmart. Plus, what happened when Syria went completely offline for two days? We discuss the situation on The Loop. Tune in tonight 7/6c for more.

"So, you decided to briefly focus on me, huh, Mr. Cameraman?

Well, get used to seeing this face, America. Sometime in the future, you'll be seeing it a lot on the evening news...when I become the youngest anchor ever.

In the meantime, I'll be spending most of my time hiding in the bushes outside the dorm of a girl that I like...because I've donated my time to the university as a landscaper."

What is high school volleyball coming to these days?

The opposing team are clearly way out of line for serving this non-regulation monstrosity to these girls.

Look at that menacing brown zeppelin as it whizzes over what appears to be a painting of a volleyball and a basketball hoop.

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This Spanish girl either has a bizarre fetish for expensive sports cars going at moderate speeds in the middle of traffic or she's in labor and the contractions seem to be occurring every time the baby senses a red Ferrari is nearby.

Her screaming and joyous cackling proves the adage that some girls just want to watch the world burn...rubber.

I'm guessing that sitting on the seats like everyone else would have negated the whole point of sporting those tight, slinky short-shorts.

These girls were in need of attention and certainly got their share of it when they were caught up in this giant contraption's spin cycle.

It's just a shame that there wasn't a quarter slot one could use to keep it going.

At this Sept. 29 concert at Glendale, Arizona, Justin Bieber is seen leaving it all on stage...literally.

But then again, this rendition of his song, "Out of Town Girl" may have just been some kind of bizarre performance art piece showing that sometimes when a girl goes out of town, she comes back with morning sickness and a determination to prevent you from taking a paternity test.

"Yeah, I'm laying here bleeding in this car wreck, trapped against this tree inside the mangled remains of what used to be my car. And yeah, I'm likely to be critically injured with broken bones and internal bleeding with possible brain trauma.

However, I'm an Asian girl and someone is taking my picture. -- Case closed."

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"For God's sake, let me get those glasses off your face, already!

You look like some kind of euro-hipster who listens to bad techno music and collects out-of-print Foucault books.

Now, give me some affection, dammit! -- More! Affection me more!"

Oh, please! This girl's just having fun at the expense of the terrorism-conscious.

It probably just contains a book, some makeup, sunglasses, and a few sealed letters addressed to her congressman filled with anthrax.

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Much to the advantage of this girl, her bird has developed as taste for lema, that crusty crap which forms in the corners of your eyes while you sleep.

When you weigh the risk of having a bird peck junk out of your eyes with a sharp beak versus the crucible inconvenience of taking two whole seconds to wipe it out yourself, the choice is perfectly obvious, right?

The next step in the world of "having animals do your hygiene," is to train weasels to shave a woman's legs.