Naruto is the latest TV series in a long line of fight-centric, kid-focused anime shows that has become popular in the U.S. Naruto: Clash of the Ninja for GameCube is the latest in a long line of disappointing fighting games based on said fight-centric, kid-focused series. But with a scant list of characters, bare-bones gameplay, and less depth than a kiddy pool. This game goes below and falls short of the call of duty in almost all respects.

Ninjerk

Titular character Naruto is a bumbling ninja student who finally graduates from the academy--despite the fact that he's wearing an orange jumpsuit instead of a traditional ninja uniform. He comes off as a dork whose marginal success has over-inflated his ego to mammoth proportions, but he's still one of the most fleshed-out, charismatic characters in the game. The other seven fighters (six playable) include a pretty-boy loner, a love-struck gal with multiple-personality disorder, and a generic bad guy with a big sword.

Story mode follows Naruto, who --along with his friends--goes on a journey to do…something. Really, it's just a way to fight all the characters one at a time, and its plot could've been written on one side of a cocktail napkin. Clash of the Ninja doesn't bother with superfluous things like anime cutscenes or a clever story. Nobody cares about that stuff anyway, right?

Child's Play

Naruto: Clash of the Ninja has one of the laziest, most oversimplified engines ever seen in a 3D fighting game. To block, all you have to do is take your hand off the controller. Special moves are as easy as hitting in a direction and tapping one of the buttons. Even the ultra-mega-hyper moves merely require you to tap X and watch half the health bar being sapped from your opponent. Basically, if you've ever played a fighting game before in your life, you're overqualified for Naruto, and will feel like a calculus professor doing addition and subtraction drills.

The eight stages offer zero interactivity, and are pretty dull as a whole. Even without railings around the edges, there are no ring-outs. Few exceptions stand out from these boring backgrounds, specifically landmarks such as a Mt. Rushmore rip-off and a big snake in the gloomy forest. 

On paper, Clash of the Ninja seems to have a fair amount of modes. Time attack, survival, and practice are all there along with other ways to duke it out. However, you can pretty much see all the game has to offer in a matter of hours. Extras are nowhere to be found, and with such a shallow fighting system, you won't be motivated to hone your combat craft.

Marginal Arts

Naruto's underwhelming graphics follow the rest of the game's lead. Cel shading makes characters look like their normal cartoon selves, but the animation and cinematic scenes are kept to a bare minimum.

While fans of the show will be thrilled with the voiceovers, the rest of us will view them as adequate at best. Music is extremely forgettable, and adds nothing to the experience. It's funny how G-rated all the dialog is -- especially when you see the game's T rating. Big boss Zabuza Momochi calls your crew "dirty scoundrels" and tells you to "give up and go away." Meanwhile, Naruto's catch-phrase of "Believe it!" will be repeated ad nauseam.

This One's For The Children

What we have here is the most basic and elementary of fighting games. It's nothing to look at, listen to, or play. But it does have an audience somewhere. If you store your thumb in your mouth when it's not on a controller, you might be young enough to enjoy this game. The double-edged sword is that it's rated Teen -- meaning the only gamers who would like it are advised against playing it by the ESRB. Parents aren’t paying attention to those ratings will wish they had once the kiddies come whining that they're bored after a few hours, though. Believe it!