I'm the Dork. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dorkness, or uh, Dorker, or El Dorkerino if you're not into the whole brevity thing. I’m not an avid bowler, but I have been known to don the rented shoes from time to time. So it was with little prompting that I lit out for Long Beach, CA and the annual Lebowski Fest West fan celebration.

Along with my prized 16-pounder, hand-fashioned from a whale’s hipbone by my seafaring grandfather, I toted a brace of tech-tacular gimcracks with which to impress my fellow lanesmen:

Panasonic’s DVD-LX9 portable DVD player, with a charging dock and detachable stereo speakers;

DataWind’s Pocket Surfer, a handheld web browser you can use with any Bluetooth phone;

…and finally, the 007 lighter camera from Think Geek.

I’d love to tell you what happened there, who I met and what I did. But my memory of the evening is hazy. Turns out white Russians aren’t “girl drinks” after all. I guess I’ll have to watch the show like the rest of you to see what went down. Until next time…