Filter's John Walsh hits the red carpet at the "Robots" premiere to see what stars think of the coolest new gadgets...and the dorkiest tech reporters.

So here’s the idea: I hit the road with a trunk full of tech schwag, showing it off at press events and trade shows for real-world reactions. This week, the beat took me to the premiere of 20th Century Fox’s new animated comedy “Robots.” I’m afraid of robots, but that wouldn’t stop me from asking stars like Robin Williams and Halle Berry what they thought of the coolest new gadgets.

Stationed outside the historic Mann Bruin theater in Westwood, the Blue Man Group thumped and hooted on their sinisterly Seussian homemade instruments as crowds gathered and camera crews set up for the event. Look, there’s E! and Access Hollywood… and farther down the carpet, almost in the next area code, was a little scrap of masking tape marked “G4.” Welcome to the big time.

For a journalist, movie premieres are kinda like sex: there’s a lot of preparation, a lot of begging for access, and it’s over before you know it. Halle Berry, who plays “Cappy” in the movie, is one of the first arrivals. Sweet! I’m all set to show her my shiny new iRiver PMC-120 portable media center, which lets you take your PC’s music, pictures, movies and TV shows anywhere. She’ll love it, I just know she will!

Well, she would have. Trouble was, Halle ran past like she owed me money. I didn’t know movie stars could go that fast. “I’ll call you,” I offered weakly to her shapely, rapidly receding rump.

Next up, Harland Williams, the voice of “Lug.” Wonder what he’ll think of the Olympus m: robe, a media player with a built-in camera? The world may never know, because along came Napoleon Dynamite’s Efren Ramirez, who brought his twin brother to the event just to screw with people.

He seemed to dig the m:robe, despite confusion over the gizmo’s sleek, buttonless design. “Just grab it and run,” jokes a woman at his elbow, but Efren doesn’t hear her. Unfortunately he hears me when I repeat the line, and I can tell by his face that he thinks I said it because he’s Mexican. Oh, wonderful. Sorry, Efren. I’m not a hater, really.

More famous faces rush by in a Paris Hiltonian blur: Greg Kinnear, Amanda Bynes, Drew Carey… apparently we’re stationed on a section of the red carpet normally reserved for lepers and snapping turtles, because most of these celebs are giving us a wide berth.

And then along comes Robin Williams. The clock is ticking, the premiere screening is about to begin, and a phalanx of Fox employees is trying to herd him into the theater. Too late! He spies my On-Key Karaoke Microphone and can’t resist belting out a few bars of “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” and musing on the device’s resemblance to a marital aid. Williams saves the day! I can go home now.

I still feel bad about Efren, though.

Next week: A boat show!