Ever since computer giant IBM announced earlier this week that they had developed the world's fastest computer, the whole nation seems to be abuzz about supercomputers. What are they? What makes them super? Why do we care who has the fastest computer? IBM’s Blue Gene/L supercomputer is eight times faster than the competition, and consumes 28 times less power per computation than other leading supercomputers. It even surpassed NEC Corp.'s Earth Simulator Center as the world's most powerful computer. Is this supposed to impress me? Well, I’m pleased to announce, it does.

All of this knowledge and all of these questions, fused with computers-and-robots-gone-awry-movies like I, Robot and War Games and current TV shows like Robot Wars, got me thinking about what life would be like if robotic supercomputers ruled the earth.

All fast food, all the time. The robots will want to keep us alive so we can be their slaves, so they will continue to feed us. However, they are certainly not going to sit around and cook for us puny humans. So the bots will likely turn fast food restaurants into cattle-like feed lines. We will all just stand in line and be handed our little white bag of microwaved burgers, greasy fries and vanilla milkshakes (chocolate will be outlawed in the future). We will eat them, be happy, and die young and fat.

No more shoes. Robots don’t wear shoes, as they don’t really have feet. Since they wouldn’t care about the pain we humans suffer by walking around barefoot, they would inevitably close down all shoe stores. When the shoes we have on eventually deteriorate and fall off, there will be nowhere to go to get more. The stinkfoot smell will evetually burn a hole in the ozone layer and kill us all by the year 2035 .

No more anti-robot movies. Films like I, Robot and 2001: A Space Odyssey, where robots are evil doers, will be outlawed forever. Only pro-robot films like Short Circuit and Heartbeeps, in which robots are cute and nice and contribute to society, will be shown. And they will only be shown in drive-ins, as indoor theaters will certainly be banned (too small to herd mass quantities of humans in). RoboCop will set the standard for law enforcement.

All techno music, all the time. Robots just can’t relate to rock or hip hop, too many lyrics and too much slang. They just don’t get it. Plus, they find the human voice to be annoying. But there’s nothing a robot likes to get down to more than the monotonous drone of techno music. The lack of any melody whatsoever and the incessant drill of the kick drum make robots go ga-ga. They shake it, and sometimes break it, but always have a good time. Raves will be the only form of robotic recreation in the future.

Monitored sex and surgically attached condoms. The robots will allow us to copulate, as they want to keep the human race around, but they do not want us to enjoy it. So all sex will now be held in monitored indoor, glass breeding houses (i.e. converted gyms and glass houses), where the robots can keep a safe watch on us. Plus, like the Australian koalas, men will have condoms surgically attached to our privates. To quote master philosopher Bugs Bunny, “Gruesome, isn’t it?”

It sure is Bugs. It suuuure is…..

What else do you think will happen in the future if robotic supercomputers ruled the world? Go to our Forums and speak up!

Robot Wars: The Seventh Wars premieres Sunday October 3, 10pm ET / 7pm PT