Send Vmail to 'The Screen Savers'
By Joshua Brentano - Posted Nov 01, 2001
Imagine being stopped on the street by a total stranger who says, "Hey, haven't I seen you on TV?"
This could happen to you if you send vmail to "The Screen Savers."
It takes energy, tons of craziness, and whole heapin' helpings of creativity, but it doesn't take much time.
What is a vmail?
A vmail is just this: You sit in front of your video camera or netcam, record a message, and send us the video so we can show your pretty face on TV.
What you need
Prepare your hardware
Before you press record, there are several things you need to do:
Record your vmail
Once you've decided on your script or skit, you need to send it to us.
Before you send the vmail, watch the clip to make sure it looks and sounds good. If we get your vmail and the video or audio is bad, we won't be able to use it. If it's too dark, turn on some more lights. If the audio is bad, adjust the level and re-record it. If it's boring, spice it up.
You can use the media poster software provided on our website. It will take you step by step through the process of recording and submitting your vmail.
Or you can record the vmail with the software that came with your camera. When you record your video, attach the file to an email message and send it to the show. Send your vmails to our special vmail address: tssvmail@techtv.com.You are going to be creating a "bump." A "bump" is a short video clip that takes us to a commercial break. For example, "Stay tuned to TechTV. 'The Screen Savers' will be right back." Except, of course, you're going to go nuts with it.
We're looking for people who are creative, zany, outrageous, silly, funny, goofy, over the top, over the edge, over the fence, loud, obnoxious, noisy, out of control, exciting, entertaining, extravagant, clever, witty, sarcastic, ridiculous, whimsical, or outlandish.
If you want to hoot and holler with your whole family, please do.
If you want to brag about your record-sized acorn squash, go right ahead.
If you want to dance with your iguana, feel free.
Whatever you do, it must relate to 'The Screen Savers.' We don't care in what strange and bizarre way you mention 'The Screen Savers.' You just have to mention it.
The video quality needs to look good, the audio must be clear, and the clip can be no longer than 15 seconds from the time you begin talking to the last word you say.
You can use one of our pre-written scripts or come up with something completely on your own. Read the pre-written scripts in the following sections of this article for inspiration.
If you follow these guidelines, your chances of seeing yourself on TV increase exponentially.
See you on the show.If you're looking for something to say, you've come to the right place.
So you're all excited about sending us a vmail. You know you want to do something different than everyone else, but you just can't figure out what to say. Not to fear -- we're going to give you some help.
Below are sample scripts for you to use. Feel free to expand on them and add your own creative touch. We would really like to see you go nuts and create your own from scratch.
** Note: We are much more likely to use your original scripts than our old boring ones you see below.
Scripts
Limericks, CLEAN ONES
Your job is to fill in the blanks with computer related terms. Let's see what you can come up with.
Haiku
If you don't know what iambic pentameter is, I'm not going to explain it. You'll have to look it up.
** I can't write any more of these things -- it's like pulling teeth. However, if you write one, I'd love to hear it.
Miscellany
As you can see, there are no limits. Whatever you end up doing, I can't say it enough, be creative, have fun, and we'll see you on TV!
This could happen to you if you send vmail to "The Screen Savers."
It takes energy, tons of craziness, and whole heapin' helpings of creativity, but it doesn't take much time.
What is a vmail?
A vmail is just this: You sit in front of your video camera or netcam, record a message, and send us the video so we can show your pretty face on TV.
What you need
- a netcam
- a microphone
- software to record video
Prepare your hardware
Before you press record, there are several things you need to do:
- Position yourself directly in front of the camera, centered in the frame. Place the camera at eye level so you're not looking up or down at the camera. Make sure you don't chop off your head or your chin. Roughly from the chest up is the best position.
- Make sure you have enough light. There's a balance between the picture being too dark and too bright. Adjust the light sources in the room, as well as the brightness feature if your camera has it. It's better to be a little too dark than a little too bright.
- Make sure your microphone works and is getting good levels.
- If you wear glasses, turn your computer monitor off so we don't get any nasty reflection.
Record your vmail
Once you've decided on your script or skit, you need to send it to us.
Before you send the vmail, watch the clip to make sure it looks and sounds good. If we get your vmail and the video or audio is bad, we won't be able to use it. If it's too dark, turn on some more lights. If the audio is bad, adjust the level and re-record it. If it's boring, spice it up.
You can use the media poster software provided on our website. It will take you step by step through the process of recording and submitting your vmail.
Or you can record the vmail with the software that came with your camera. When you record your video, attach the file to an email message and send it to the show. Send your vmails to our special vmail address: tssvmail@techtv.com.You are going to be creating a "bump." A "bump" is a short video clip that takes us to a commercial break. For example, "Stay tuned to TechTV. 'The Screen Savers' will be right back." Except, of course, you're going to go nuts with it.
We're looking for people who are creative, zany, outrageous, silly, funny, goofy, over the top, over the edge, over the fence, loud, obnoxious, noisy, out of control, exciting, entertaining, extravagant, clever, witty, sarcastic, ridiculous, whimsical, or outlandish.
If you want to hoot and holler with your whole family, please do.
If you want to brag about your record-sized acorn squash, go right ahead.
If you want to dance with your iguana, feel free.
Whatever you do, it must relate to 'The Screen Savers.' We don't care in what strange and bizarre way you mention 'The Screen Savers.' You just have to mention it.
The video quality needs to look good, the audio must be clear, and the clip can be no longer than 15 seconds from the time you begin talking to the last word you say.
You can use one of our pre-written scripts or come up with something completely on your own. Read the pre-written scripts in the following sections of this article for inspiration.
If you follow these guidelines, your chances of seeing yourself on TV increase exponentially.
See you on the show.If you're looking for something to say, you've come to the right place.
So you're all excited about sending us a vmail. You know you want to do something different than everyone else, but you just can't figure out what to say. Not to fear -- we're going to give you some help.
Below are sample scripts for you to use. Feel free to expand on them and add your own creative touch. We would really like to see you go nuts and create your own from scratch.
** Note: We are much more likely to use your original scripts than our old boring ones you see below.
Scripts
Limericks, CLEAN ONES
Your job is to fill in the blanks with computer related terms. Let's see what you can come up with.
- There once was a _____ from Screen Savers
Whose _____ came in 31 flavors
On TV he's hot
When he _____ _____'s he's not
Which explains the silly behavior.
Next, on "The Screen Savers!"
- I know a guy who's a geek
Who's knowledge of _____ might be weak
We _____ him a shirt
His feelings were hurt
Now his _____ has developed a leak.
Next, on "The Screen Savers!"
- _____ _____ is my first and last name
I learned about _____ on my mainframe
The _____er I type
The food I must wipe
From the _____ while blast I through my game.
Next, on "The Screen Savers!"
Haiku
- Need Computer Help
Smashed screen and broken mouse bad
Who can I turn to?
"The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
- Windows crashed again.
The Blue Screen of Death returns.
Your screams are useless.
"The Screen Savers" can help, here on TechTV!
- I can't get online
Internet is down again
I need my fix bad
Turn to "The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
- Misery and pain
Are my eyes bleeding badly?
My screen is too small.
"The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
- Computer won't boot
You must be running Windows
Hope does not exist
Turn to "The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
If you don't know what iambic pentameter is, I'm not going to explain it. You'll have to look it up.
- When Pat and Leo try to solve a call,
And no one else is there to take the fall,
Don't yell and scream and waste all of your time,
Just call us up and you won't waste a dime.
"The Screen Savers," here on TechTV!
- So your computer will not let you down?
Just turn on your TV and listen here,
Don't cry or moan or show your friends a frown,
Your misery will end so do not fear.
Watch "The Screen Savers," here on TechTV
** I can't write any more of these things -- it's like pulling teeth. However, if you write one, I'd love to hear it.
Miscellany
-
More fun than a barrel full of greased-up monkeys, you're watching "The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
- Are you more confused than a French tap-dancer at a Microsoft Office seminar? Then watch "The Screen Savers," you might learn something, coming up on TechTV!
- If you can't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, then you need help! Watch "The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
- If you're a 16-bit user in a 32-bit world, watch "The Screen Savers" on TechTV; they'll straighten you out!
- All your base are belong to us! You're watching "The Screen Savers" here on TechTV.
- JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! Oh wait, wrong show. The right show is "The Screen Savers," and it's on TechTV!
- Emray Klaatu narwat macro pluval barrada lukendso impothlit. The day the earth stands still is every day I watch "The Screen Savers" on TechTV!
As you can see, there are no limits. Whatever you end up doing, I can't say it enough, be creative, have fun, and we'll see you on TV!
Comments
Add a Comment